"Nothing can be sole or whole

That has not first been rent."

W.B. Yeats

People find their way to therapy for a variety of reasons: often because they are unhappy in their own skin, or need help and support to move through heart-breaking events. Sometimes it's a relationship in trouble that brings them to make the call; if love seems to have left them; or they find that their children are slipping away from them. Whatever the reason, the help offered by a therapist is both as simple as newly baked bread, and as complex and mysterious as the pattern of stars in the night sky.

In a therapy session, people sit together, sometimes in a storm of language: expressions of thoughts, emotions, and their felt sense of experience. Sometimes they sit so silently they can hear their hearts, and track their experience as it arises. In these patient and tender moments and hours, a new awareness of the self arises. Hope returns, and new paths open in front of us.

I believe that the most important agent of change in the therapy room is the relationship between the people present. Effective therapy, my teacher Diana Fosha says, has at its core the capacity to "undo (the) unbearable aloneness" many of us experience at times in our lives. When we feel truly accompanied, genuinely met and heard, we begin to trust our own experiences more fully, and to retrieve the lost and hurt parts of our selves which are essential to our growth and happiness.

Do you feel dry, lonely, disappointed, disconnected from the people you want to love, and as if you've lost your joy in life? Conversation with a therapist who works from a relational, attachment model can return you to yourself. Such conversations will offer you a route to connection, hope, and delight in your life.